the conscientisation of rennie d

In the mid 1980’s I found myself, a white South African recently freed from military conscription, living in a township and undergoing a disturbing, yet exciting, process of conscientisation. This was a reflection:

i walk in the depths of minds uncertainty
searching thoughts for paths to security
which way to turn or where to run
an impossibility

new ideas bursting out the old
what to accept to reject to hold to hate
excitement verses incomprehensibility
foot after foot I tread
a weary mile
mind in concentration
eyes upon the ground

answer lord
bring order to my troubled mind

“my boundaries for you have fallen
in pleasant places”

“your righteousness will shine
like the dawn”

rennie D
12 June 1986
revised 27 February 2006

the birth of rennie d

This poem, published in Vent Vol. 8, June 1984 (a Rhodes University Lit.Soc Publication), marks the birth of Rennie D:

my ears are plugged
deaf nothing
can't hear
can't understand
plagued with uncertainty

dare trust dare love
trust and love
understanding comes
knowledge ability bring
freedom love

rennie D
2 March 1984
revised 24 February 2006

and exactly who is rennie d?

Rennie D was born out of late teenage shy self-awareness and a desire for anonymity, married to my first attempt at having my poetry published in a university students' magazine. In this first attempt I used my two middle-names, the second of which is now reduced to just a single initial. Both names have their origin in my maternal family line, and Rennie is my maternal grandfather's mother's maiden name, and - according to sources that claim to know - is of Pictish origin, giving a "fantastical" element to my own musings. This "fantastical" element is provoked by my interest in fantasy literature, engendered through an early exposure to C S Lewis' Narnia series (which I have read at least five times) and J R R Tolkien’s Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogy. I’m presently immersed in Terry Goodkind's The Sword of Truth series. I particularly appreciate the "parable" nature of this genre, and find it a faith-inspiring emersion.

I have never been a prolific poet, but find the multifaceted focus of words in poetry to be an occasional and valuable reflective tool in ruminating on the nature of faith and life in all its adventure. This blog is no attempt to share poetry (although there will be some), but poetic in the sense of contemplative cogitation on life's experience. Faith and life, the spiritual and material, the emotional and the rational, reality and fantasy are "Not one. Not two.":

“How does a person seek union with God?” the seeker asked.

“The harder you seek,” the teacher said, “the more distance you create between God and you.”

“So what does one do about the distance?”

“Understand that it isn’t there,” the teacher said.

“Does that mean that God and I are one?” the seeker said.

“Not one. Not two.”

“How is that possible?” the seeker asked.

“The sun and its light, the ocean and the wave, the singer and the song. Not one. Not two.”

This blog seeks to be "Not one. Not two." Welcome to the life and times of Rennie D!